Boundaries are a "litmus test" for the quality of our relationships. Those people in our lives who can respect our boundaries will love our wills, our opinions, our separateness. Those who can't respect our boundaries are telling us that they don't love our nos. They only love our yeses, our compliance. "I only like it when you do what I want.”
― Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud
Communicating accurately and communicating effectively are two very different things.
When we’re angry, scared, threatened, nervous, ashamed, or embarrassed, we tend to communicate very accurately what we’re feeling… but it isn’t very effective.
That’s the tricky part.
How do we communicate in a way that enriches, uplifts, and strengthens our relationship when emotions are running high, blood is pumping in our ears, and we feel like we either want to punch our partner or completely shut down?
I’ve helped a lot of incredible people fix frustrating problems in their marriage, and learn the skills to create a relationship more incredible than they thought was possible. Here’s what just a few of them have said:
