Why We Love

 
Helen Fisher - Growth Marriage.png

Love is something that every human being can understand and experience. It is our common ground. We may not be able to relate to each other culturally, intellectually, or politically. But we all know what it feels like to be smitten... and also how devastating it is to be heartbroken.

 

Love is something that every human being can understand and experience. It is our common ground. We may not be able to relate to each other culturally, intellectually, or politically. But we all know what it feels like to be smitten... and also how devastating it is to be heartbroken.

"The God of Love lives in a state of need. It is a need. It is an urge. It is a homeostatic imbalance. Like hunger and thirst, it is almost impossible to stamp out."

-Helen Fisher

Understanding the biology and brain chemistry behind love won't necessarily help you fall madly in love with your significant other... but it might help you gain an appreciation for the complexities, and the raw and very real emotions that it triggers at a very basic level in each of us.

This amazing TED Talk by Helen Fisher has helped me recommit to being a little more sympathetic and understanding when the people I love get a bout of the crazies. I mean, let's be honest, we've all done something at least a little foolish in the name of love.

http://www.ted.com Why do we crave love so much, even to the point that we would die for it? To learn more about our very real, very physical need for romantic love, Helen Fisher and her research team took MRIs of people in love -- and people who had just been dumped.

"Romantic love is much more than a cocaine high. At least you come down from cocaine. Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You can't stop thinking about another human being. Somebody is camping in your head."

Remember, love is literal chemistry just like it is figurative chemistry. Often times we don't feel it because we aren't using the right ingredients.

If you're in a relationship and you're not feeling the highs that love create, what is it that you have changed? What helps you feel chemistry with your partner? When was the last time you let someone camp in your head?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

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