Couples therapy is NOT a last resort for your marriage. It could be the very thing that keeps you from ever contemplating a “last resort” in the first place.
How To Choose The Best Therapist For You
What happens in the office of a sex therapist?
What Happens In a Therapist's Office?
Going to see a therapist can be scary. There's a lot to be worried about.
What does it mean about our relationship if we need therapy? What if the therapist tells us our issues are unfixable? Shouldn't we be able to fix this ourselves? What if we start going and our therapist just wants us to come back over and over again for years? How do we know when we don't need therapy anymore? Are they just going to make me talk about my feelings?
How do we even figure out whether or not our struggles are worthy of a therapist?
These are all genuine concerns to have when seeing a therapist for the first time... especially a sex therapist.
In today's episode, we want to give you a taste of what it's like to go see a therapist, what you can expect, and what you can NOT expect.
We hope it gives you a little more courage to ask for help from someone who is trained to help if you ever need it.
Check out the live recording of this episode:
Mythbuster Monday - Pick Your Battles
“In relationships [with a low negativity threshold], couples allow each other to complain, and work together to constantly repair the tiny issues between them. In such a case, couples don't bottle up their feelings, and little things don't end up being blown completely out of proportion”. - Hannah Fry
Mythbuster Monday: Always Put Your Spouse's Needs before your own
Think you are someone who doesn't have a fantasy?
We have never met a man or woman who didn’t have a fantasy. Whether it’s having your partner finding a babysitter, planning a date night and whisking you away or trying a new adventure in the bedroom—the spectrum of fantasy is a fun and powerful tool to incorporate into your relationship. You might be surprised at what you learn about the art and power of fantasy in a relationship whether you ever act on one or not.
The art of fantasy can feel a bit risky.
Kristin has met with many women and clients. When approached with the question, “What is your fantasy?” they say, “Oh I don’t have one.”
She immediately calls BS and says, “Oh, yes you do. Everyone has a fantasy.” Look at how Twilight and 50 Shades of Gray took the nation by storm. You can’t tell me women don’t have fantasies. You simply need to get in touch with them.
First, let me say that fantasy doesn’t have to mean erotic or kinky. Many of you may have the fantasy of your partner coming through that door after work or on a Saturday morning and grab that trashbag by it’s handles, throw it over their shoulder and march it out of the house like he's on a mission. That, right there, is a fantasy.
It’s important to start wherever you are at with this and build. But being in touch with your fantasies is an important part of increasing your desire. You don’t even ever have to act on them! Couple’s and individuals can live off of the EROS of a fantasy for years.
Check out the live recording of this episode:
Mythbuster Monday: Never Go To Bed Angry
What I learned About Love by Interviewing a Super Bowl Champion
Lube. This episode will blow your mind... Really
Why Do An Episode On Lube?
When Kristin first approached me about doing an episode on lube, I was like, "Uh... won't that just be like a 30-second episode? Lube reduces friction. Done."
"Nate, there's so much more to than that!"
Boy, was she right!
The Facts
Lube in the United States is not regulated by the FDA.
That means companies can put all sorts of stuff in their products that could do damage to your body. Many lubrications include chemicals that cause allergic reactions, that leave you with a rash, itchyness, sensitivity, overly-dry skin, or tingling.
Some chemicals will cause the epithelial layer of your skin to fall off, which can be SUPER bad!
Some lube messes with your pH levels, which can cause yeast infections or even expose you to bacteria and infection!
Some lube increases your risk of cancer, and some will even cause your cells (including semen) to explode...
You can read more about how your lube can affect your body here, or you can download an amazing guide at the bottom of this post.
Needless to say, NOT ALL LUBE IS CREATED EQUAL!
Good Lubes vs. Bad Lubes
A great general practice to determine whether or not your lube is safe is to read the ingredients on the bottle. If you can pronounce the ingredients, you're pretty safe. If you can't, you're probably not using a great lube.
Another great indicator that your lube sucks is if you're experiencing any rashes, irritation, or unintended pain or discomfort during sex.
Here's a list of Kristin's favorite lubes. (Hint, KY does NOT make the list.) Try them out! They might take your sex life from painful to enjoyable, or from enjoyable to mind-blow ingly awesome:
For more information, listen to the entire episode. It really is SO good.
Show Notes:
Here are some of the resources Kristin referred to during today's episode:
