Episode #35 - Jay and Lara
How Are You Choosing To Show Up Today?
The difference between the truly legendary people who leave a lasting impact on this world, and the billions of merely average and "good" people, is how the legends decide to show up. Every. Single. Day.
One choice made over and over, every day - to show up - is what made Michael Jordan into the greatest basketball player of all time. It's what got Abraham Lincoln elected as President. It's how Steve Jobs turned his vision into a modern-day empire. The decision to show up, to fight with conviction, to inspire, and to do the work that nobody else is willing to do is what separates the excellent from the average.
This principle doesn't just apply to ideas, careers, and companies. It also applies to relationships... which is why most marriages are merely average. Truly legendary marriages require a consistent effort and dedication to showing up that most people are unwilling to commit to.
Marriage is a continual process. It's a re-commitment to each other. That it requires continual forgiveness, continual self-growth and examination.
After talking to over 100 couples about love, I believe that what we've allowed our society to deem as a "good" relationship is not good enough. We can change what is acceptable. We can raise the average. We can pull ourselves out of the mire of crap that we all too often get sucked into.
Can you really find a way to let the other person be who they are, and can you be who you are? But you get mired in all this crap. You get mired in all the little stuff, and the pettiness, and the day-to-day stuff. Sometimes you have to remove yourself if you can, and take a look at the big picture. What's the goal?...At the end of the day, if I made her life special, that would be pretty cool.
The greatest relationships are reserved for the people who are willing to dig deep, battle personal demons, and show up every day.
As Theodore Roosevelt said,
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
What do you think? Has our society grown complacent when it comes to love? What does it mean to "show up" in a relationship? How can you show up better? I'd love to hear your ideas in the comments!
[jbox title="Show Notes:" border="5" radius="15"] You can follow Jay and Lara's travels on Lara's blog here.